The other day, after I had just gotten done riding a sassy mare that I love and was rinsing her down, she began to throw a fit. Apparently, she wasn't tired enough from our little workout, & though she is bold, she has insecurities... She proceeded to dance around searching for her friends or anyone who had four hooves and was willing to listen. As she did this, I kept doing my intended job of cleaning her up, though she proceeded to throw her fit.
I said out loud to her, "You know, Star, if you would just worry about yourself, your life would be a whole lot easier…" As the words left my mouth, I was instantly convicted.
I am so much like this mare; I worry about what's going on all around me, who's doing what, why they're doing the things they're doing. I try to manage it all and then get irritated when things don't happen how I want them to.
While there are many ways to look at this, she's a boss mare, and I lead a company. We both make choices for others, and each one can have a domino effect on many things that impact the lives of others. Let's take it to the home front now; once again, as a mother, I also manage the kids and my family's needs. Thankfully, I have a husband who helps out in this department, but do we ever think about all the things we are doing, thinking, managing, and caring for in a day? Some of these things are absolutely necessary; some are just not our problem. But many times, we make them a problem for ourselves. Sometimes, we care about fixing an issue or resolving a conflict more than the people who started it in the first place.
We can place so much stress on ourselves, trying to handle it all, that we look like that misbehaving mare in the wash stall. Star's trying to handle her issues by screaming about them and letting everyone know she's unhappy. But truth be known, no one was listening– no one but me. And as I watched her try to navigate her feelings of not being in control of her environment, I realized how much of a parallel there is to her behavior with me and my behavior with God.
Sometimes, I want to kick and scream and tell the world how bad something or someone is or how unfair or unjust the situation is. But that really isn't the answer; likely, that will just create more of the same drama. Who I need to tell is the one who is always listening and truly knows both sides of every story– the one who created it all.
So, that wash stall moment has truly helped me lately. Star can't change her environment by herself. She is dependent on me for all her basic needs. She needs to 100% trust that I am a leader worth following if we are going to get to the places I desire. The only way she will get there is by me, putting in the time to get to know her, giving her wet saddle pads, and letting her find the answers to her problems. This will give her the confidence she needs so she does not continue to worry about everything around her and focus on me when a problem arises.
The same thing goes for me; I need to put the time in with God to get to know Him by reading or listening or just getting quiet and having a conversation in prayer. I need to get to Know Him, Understand Him, and Trust Him & trust that His ways are better than mine. I need to "listen" and learn His voice so I can trust Him in every situation He allows for my life.
I would also like to share with you that last week, as I was driving back and forth between home & Ruby Buckle in Guthrie, Oklahoma, there was a sign on the side of the road that said 'Psalm 91 ☂' I was curious, so I looked it up– what a blessing & promise from our God (I'll share it below). Sometimes, we need a reminder that as out of control as everything can feel in this world, He is still in charge and is always listening in our times of need– which is every day…
Love y'all, get the books out, get to work & make it a Great month!
Psalm 91
Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."
Surely, he will save you from the fowler's snare and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings, you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday. A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you. You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked.
If you say, "The Lord is my refuge," and you make the Most High your dwelling, no harm will overtake you, no disaster will come near your tent. For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. You will tread on the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent.
"Because he loves me," says the Lord, "I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call on me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life, I will satisfy him and show him my salvation."
Many Blessings, Kris.